Ryan Patrick

Re-reading the Bible

I’ve read large portions of the Bible in my Catholic school days and my non-Catholic school days. However, I’ve never read the book in its entirety, cover to cover. So, here goes another attempt at that. Along the way, I may take time to put finger to keyboard about it. Here goes:

Right now I’m only at Genesis (band and video game jokes here), but I’m excited. Here’s something I never questioned before…

So Adam and Eve didn’t know they were naked until after they ate the fruit, which was forbidden by God? So God wanted them to be unknowingly naked? Isn’t that kind of creepy?

I’ve got a long ways to go. Don’t disappoint me, God…again.

Insert dick joke here (Insert butt joke here)

My initial thought: Weinergate proved that even progressives can be scumbags, but at least they’re progressive. Now go rack up a Newt Gingrich-like bill at Tiffany’s, Congressman.

…again, he’s still a scumbag. Unless his wedding vows contained permission for him to do this for some odd reason, he shouldn’t have done it. He should have confessed immediately instead of ruining his credibility and hurting important causes by his association. I simply don’t see him being as influential as he once was, given the circumstances.

That being said: Andrew Breitbart’s still a horrible person. He’s acting as though no one should’ve doubted him, despite all the times where he has compromised any perceived credibility of his own. Also, if you’re so concerned about “big government,” maybe you shouldn’t spend so much time and effort covering sex scandals, especially ones that don’t involve any actual sex.

Lastly, let’s put aside any false equivalencies:

What Anthony Weiner did is not the same thing as Democrats and Republicans cheating on/divorcing their sick and/or handicapped wives to be with other women, especially when they claim to be good Christians who are for “family values.”

What Anthony Weiner did is not the same as closeted, conservative homosexuals impeding the advancement of gay rights.

What Anthony Weiner did is not the same as Democrat and Republican politicians having love babies.

Nonetheless, it’s still very, very wrong. I’ll never honestly try to defend it, but I will point out things that are even worse.

Oh well. Until he possibly redeems himself and/or this whole stupid thing is largely forgotten, at least we’ve still got Bernie Sanders in the Senate. However, if this is pretty much the beginning of the end for his political career: Thanks, Congressman.

Sincerely and sarcastically…thanks.

Florida

The problem is that anyone can Google “How to pass a drug test.” It’s an easy-to-overcome obstacle for the dishonest and an inconvenience for honest people, who are already beaten down by a weakened economy and who could potentially be deprived of assistance due to false positives (rare, but possible).

It’s not that I enjoy people cheating the system. It’s that I don’t like people being punished due to the poor decisions of others.

Chris Christie: Seemingly Good Father, Obviously Awful Governor

I want to be governor.

You get to promise your child that you’ll take them on vacation if you get elected. Then, you completely neglect the reason you’re fulfilling that promise in the first place, thereby going against an even bigger promise you made to an entire state.

Also, you get to espouse fiscal responsibility while deploying a helicopter for your own personal use so you don’t miss your kid’s baseball game.

Why do those fucking union thugs and leftie bloggers gotta spin all of this and make it seem all inconsistent and hypocritical and stuff?

I say we pay our governors based on their performance, and any guy flying around in a chopper so that he can relish America’s past time should be a god damn millionaire (especially if he’s a corporate shill, too).